SAN FRANCISCO, Calif. – The San Francisco Bulls Professional Hockey team is under fire from PETA (People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals). The human rights group is protesting outside of the Cow Palace, citing animal cruelty of Bulls fighting Condors.
“It’s an unfair fight,” said PETA spokesperson Anna Mull. “I don’t understand how this organization can get away with something like this in the great state of California, let alone in the Bay Area. We’re not going anywhere until they put up an equal fight against the Bulls; a bear, alligator or even an ostrich would have a prayer. But Condors versus Bulls, no chance. We’re here to protect them.”
It’s been nearly a week since this group has laid down their pens, laptops and iPads to come to the aid of these harmless creatures. Condors are known for being dimwitted, often killing themselves by eating too much lead, so it’s not surprising PETA, often confused with the bread, has taken up this cause and are willing to see this through until the fight is called off.
Others in the area are fed up with PETA’s persistence on meddling in other people’s business. They say the fight should go on and they look forward to a clear cut winner after the smoke has cleared.
“I don’t really see the problem with this,” said Daly City resident Zelda Kowz. “If it’s consensual then let them have at it. I’ve seen bigger mismatches than this.
With PETA standing true to its convictions, the SF Bulls organization is in dire straits. While they understand the fight against the Condors is completely one-sided, they note that it’s out of their hands.
“It’s on the schedule,” said SF Bulls CEO Joe Wagoner. “It’s not our call that our first tilt is against Condors. They’ll probably have a better chance against the Eagles.”
With the Bulls just days away from their Home Opener, only a miracle will keep these picketers away. Nothing short of a Condors retreat can save this situation.